Don't cry for me Argentina

Wow, this last month has been incredible: Incredibly good, hard, long, encouraging, sweet, sad, and joyful. I absolutely loved classes this month. It turns out I told you wrong before: my second class was actually synthesis of the old testament- and it was soooo good.  I ate the word like crazy, I kept trying to keep ahead of him, and ended up reading the entire bible this month. I really enjoyed reading everything before he taught it; it gave me an excitement for every class and what he would say about the next book of the Bible. God is so cool, so gracious, I am in love with how perfect His plan fits together and so beside myself with how perfectly His word is put together. He is so good, so powerful, and so faithful. I’m really glad I had these classes last; it makes me feel that I am leaving on a sweet note.

I also got to go on one last ministry trip while I was here. We went to this little town close to Buenos Aires and a friend of mine gave a concert, so we invited people to go to it and we got to share the gospel a few times. Also I had the opportunity to be involved doing a little discipleship. My group went over to a ladies house that attends the church we were helping with and we had a little share time. I loved it. We all went around and told our testimonies and talked about how good God is and how powerful He is in having saved us. Then we encouraged her with some scripture and prayed over her, I love having the opportunity to share with other brothers and sisters in the faith like that. No one that my group and I shared with accepted Christ that day, but some seeds were definitely planted. I can’t remember all the names of the people we talked to, but I definitely will be praying for the people I had the opportunity to share with: if you remember, pray for them too, that God would continue to send people from that church to share with them and love on them: but ultimately that God would be mighty to save.

I’m really going to miss things here. Well….. not everything.  There’s this door that hits me in the face every time I go through it, I’m really not going to miss that door. There are a few other things too, but I guess it’s hard to miss things that are difficult and at times uncomfortable to go though. The truth of it is, I can’t say there is a thing I went through this year that the Lord didn’t use to challenge or grow me. I’m going to miss the people, the ministry, the Spanish, the classes, heck: I might even miss that door sometimes. But I’m ready to come home, the more I pray, the more I know that it’s where I’m supposed to be: at least for now. I’m going to North Greenville University in South Carolina this year. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to study yet. All I know is that I want to serve the Lord with all my heart. I prayed about it, and I feel peace about college right now, my hope is that in studying for a career, if the Lord calls me to a difficult country I’ll have entrance through creative access. Heaven only knows where I’ll be five years from now- or five months from now for that matter, I haven’t the slightest idea. All I truly know is that I’m following Christ, and that my final destination is His presence in the end. The goal: is to reach Heaven’s gates having made an impact on the souls Jesus loved enough to die for.

            What to say about this year… It’s hard to sum it up on a blog. Some days it feels like it was a matter of minutes. But most days it doesn’t, most days it feels like it lasted years. I’ve learned so much here that it doesn’t seem like it would be possible to have learned all of it in just a matter of a year. All I can say is that the Lord always works in His own timing, especially in ways that seem impossible to my finite human brain. To say it was a hard year would be an understatement. Ultimately I have been humbled in many ways. I left thinking I knew a lot, I come back knowing I know next to nothing.

17 days and counting

17 days and counting, who knew it would go so fast?! I was talking to a friend of mine here today and realized we have been here for 292 days- it’s incredible. What a journey it’s been! I have been doing some reflecting lately. It’s crazy to think about what I’ve learned in all this time, more importantly how deeply the Lord has worked in my life. I’ve had hard moments where I’ve seen parts of myself I didn’t want to admit existed. But God has proved himself gracious and faithful in every moment. I’m so glad that the Lord never leaves us, it’s been his presence that has been my constant reassurance, and hope; not just in Argentina, but in life. I am so thankful for his salvation; He is so sufficient and so good. I was writing in my journal this week of the things I feel that I have learned about myself in my time here, so here goes:

1.     I’m not humble

2.     I’m not wise

3.     I’m bad at being independent

4.     I’m always completely and totally in need of Jesus: For words, for humility, for strength.. for everything.

5.     I learned I have SO MUCH more to learn than I knew

6.     I leaned I’m not patient

7.     It’s hard to be kind all the time

8.     How to be real with people

9.     I’m selfish

10. I’m not right very often

11. I learned about the great necessity of prayer

12. I saw God faithful, powerful, loving, and correcting

13. I learned the importance of never giving up

14. I’m learning complaining never edifies

15. I am learning what a gift time truly is- not to take it for granted

16.  I have so much further to grow and so much more to change

17. But most importantly I learned that God is my rock, through it all He stands strong for me in my every weakness- I learned so much about the great sufficiency of my God. To wait, and be satisfied in him, because he is so worth waiting for.

It’s funny, cause it’s not so much Argentina that has drastically changed my life, it’s only been a tool in the hand of my God. Sure hard situations have forced me to cling whole-heartedly to Him because otherwise I would have drowned in bitterness, but it’s been him who upheld me and grew me- to Him be all the Glory. Even still I know I have so much further to grow.

Pray for me, pray that I would love others so much more than myself. Pray that the Lord would keep me humble, that he would make me wise, dependent, in need of him, that he would challenge, edify and give me the gift of endurance. All the while I pray He gathers every soul to himself for His glory, may He be mighty to save, and may we glorify Him with all that we are. May the God and rock of our Salvation be exalted.

17 more days: Pray that I will be all here, and with my whole heart I would glorify him, not just in these days, but in all my life. I love you all, and I can’t wait to see your faces again.

“I love you, O LORD, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the LORD who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.”  ~ Psalms 18: 1-3

9 Months Down 1 To Go

Another month gone by, in some ways it felt like an eternity, in other ways it felt like I blinked and it was gone. It’s hard to believe that there’s only one month left of my time here; it’s also hard to believe I have been here for over 9 months already. Things have been busy, but we have definitely fallen into a rhythm. Every week seems to have the consistency of the last. I really enjoyed my last two classes. Hermeneutics was challenging, but interesting, Genesis was a sweet memory jogger. I feel like I learned a lot. I can’t say that I always agreed with everything, but classes always got me thinking and searching my Bible. I definitely think the Lord has used them to grow me closer to Himself; the Lord certainly is good and rich in blessing. Now I am on the verge of starting my next classes. We will be starting Bibliogy and a survey of the New Testament this last month here.  I’ll have to let you know how it goes.

Health-wise I am finally doing better I think. (knock on wood) Unfortunately I was sick for the better part of this last month. I started out with the stomach flu and then had bronchitis for a while. Also I found out that my stomach can’t handle a lot the food here at school anymore. But thankfully the Lord has been providing for me in other ways. He’s definitely taken care of me.

To be honest with you I was really looking forward to April here because I thought it would be a great blessing to really get involved with people. I suppose I was slightly disappointed when I spent the better part of that second month, sick and in bed. At first I questioned the Lord as to why He didn’t give me the strength to get out and be doing more ministry and pouring my heart out to others. But the Lord had a different plan. He always seems to teach me a new way of dependence on Him. I never get what I expect, but I always learn something new about the character and sweetness of my God. I spent a lot of time this past month getting to worship Him from my bed, to listen to sermons, read my bible, other books I hadn’t had the opportunity to read, pray, and get some much needed sleep in order to heal. But I thank the Lord for your prayers, He definitely heard our cry and has granted me at least for now physical strength.

34 days from now I will be on a plane. I’m really excited to come home. I miss my family, church family, friends, and in truth English in many ways. Although I must say I will miss so much about being here, especially the people and being able to always speak Spanish.

Pray for me, for the strength to say goodbye, for the desire to continue to press on, and that I would glorify God in all that I do.

One month left to go and I will be home once more.

This last month

Hello again, sorry, I almost forgot I had a blog.  I’ve been so busy it feels like I am never on the computer- ever, and so then you have not heard from me in a very long time. So, let me catch everyone up a little.

Uruguay was wonderful! What a blessing! We got to travel all over Uruguay and see everything from their beaches to their cities on the beaches.  I am very thankful that I had the chance to go there. Also while we were there we got to do a little ministry, which was really precious. We went to a church in the middle of what I do believe we would consider the Ghetto. It was a broken down building with three small rooms full of very content and excited believers. We went and invited kids to come to the church and had what I think was some sort of VBS day. We played sports and sang with them. Actually funny thing, while we were there, they asked me to sing a few songs in Spanish. It was…. Hard. I had never sung in Spanish for anyone before then, but they asked me and friend of mine to sing and play the guitar for them, for me it was a little nerve-racking. But may I say the Lord definitely humbled me as I stumbled through the lyrics of some songs I kind of knew and tried to be courageous. Also the next day we sang a song at their church service, but this time in English (with translated words), and I really enjoyed being there. It felt kind of homey to sit and listen to a sermon and listen to a body of believers with love for Jesus worshiping him.

It’s so interesting how the Lord always seems to pick the most unlikely of leaders to lead; He certainly has with me. I often feel so inadequate when I am chosen for a leadership position. For some reason they choose me to be the person over gardening this semester. It’s interesting, remembering all the gardening vocabulary and asking others to do things. I think my favorite part is at the end when I have the opportunity to pray over my girls in Spanish, God knows I probably butcher the words, but I’m thankful He understands me anyways.

            Class started a month ago. (haha wow it really has been awhile since I updated.)  I really love class. We have new classes every month and then we have an exam on what we have learned. For me it keeps things interesting, we change teachers every month, which I enjoy because it gives me another persons outlook on the scripture. I can’t say that I particularly enjoyed the last teachers I had, they were so nice, but they had really monotone voices and slurred a lot of their words which took a lot more concentration to understand. But the material from the classes was really good, and I feel like I am learning and growing a lot. I had my tests this past week, and I think I did okay by God’s grace, but it was certainly hard, I think I memorized 26 verses in Spanish more or less. Please pray the Lord would enable me to press on and that He would give me the ability to do all that is required of me here.  This past month we had: “Evangelism and Discipleship,” and “Christian Life I.” This Tuesday we begin: “A study in Genesis,” and “Hermeneutics.” I am really looking forward to these next classes.

As for my Spanish, I feel that your prayers have helped a multitude. God is blessing me with understanding and conversations I never dreamed I could have in Spanish. I have had countless conversations with my roommates about what God is doing in my life, and I get to listen to what God has done and is doing in theirs. Just an hour ago I spent 4 hours talking to Miriam, one of my room-mates from Ecuador, about God’s goodness- we were relating to each other about Abraham and how God called him to walk by faith, just as it is with all of His sons and daughters. We discussed things in Hebrews and the calling to live by faith and not by sight. She is so precious and I know the Lord has a marvelous plan for my friend, as he does for all that are His own. Pray for Miriam if you will, and really for all my roommates (Rocio, Damarís, Anita, Miriam, and Tania.) that God would give them direction and peace that surpasses all understanding, and that they would never cease to walk by faith. These are the first roommates here that I have really understood well enough to know them. It’s so beyond cool! I know that none of this is because of me, but in the Lord’s strength alone. God knows I have a long way to go though, so much more to learn, pray for me, if you will- for these next two months here, that I would strive to finish well and glorify God in all that I do. Pray that I would understand better every day and that I would never try and do any of it in my own strength. (Because God knows I can’t.)

            Another blessing I got to experience here was that my mom got to come visit me. It was so awesome! I am so happy that she got to come here. We traveled to Buenos Aires for the weekend, and spent a week in of the dorm rooms here. I am thankful that I got to see her, I think the homesickness is getting harder at this point. I wish I could keep my whole family with me during this time, but I know the Lord is teaching us all through this time of separation. Two more months and I’ll be home once more.

            If you think of me this week please lift up a prayer for my health. Miriam and I both have the flu, we went to the doctor and they gave us medication- so no worries. But I hope that we are both on our feet again by classes Tuesday, so please pray for healing. Pray that God would use us a lot during the opportunities we have here to go out on the weekends and do evangelism, that my classmates and I would be able to share the gospel with as many people as will listen, and that the Lord will prepare there hearts and save them. Pray for strength for us all during classes, that we would understand well and glorify Jesus in our grades and attentiveness. Pray that I wouldn’t grow weary in continuing to learn, but that the Lord would continue to give me passion for Spanish. Because by it, I have known people I never could have known, people have touched me that I never would have understood, and a section of the lost that I never could have shared Jesus with God has given me the ability to share with. Thank Jesus that He is so good to us when we don’t deserve it; and praise Him because he uses the weakest and the most foolish to display His perfect strength and glory.

Rest and Relaxation

Campus without the campers is as different as I thought it would be. I admit that the lack of people everywhere at times is nice. There is a lot more time to study, and to read the word of God in peacefulness, to meditate; though my Spanish is probably at a stand still for now aside from the few conversations I’ve had here and there.

Most days consist of Spanish class, cleaning the campus, and thinking: ‘Lots of thinking.’ It’s a time for rejuvenation, but also a time that pushes me to grasp this language and understand further. Because April is coming; and with April-the start of the Bible institute, and all things Spanish will ensue- with or without me.

Here in Argentina, we are having glorious weather, and I cannot help but think of the Creator everywhere I look. How glorious and great is our God?!

Lately the Lord has been teaching me so much, in the silence as well as in the craziness that life holds. I was reading Zephaniah this morning, although I feel I cannot adequately convey all that I learned, I’d like to try. First of all I love reading the Old Testament, I cannot help but marvel every time I read it, at the great mercy of God within all His holiness. The book of Zephaniah displays such an avid jealousy of our God for his people, such a total love for Himself in his justice, and such a beautiful heart of love and redemption for our wandering eyes and souls. Here he speaks of His judgment and condemnation on Judah, warnings of woe and the day of the Lord, here, He says he would bring distress on mankind. I feel small and inadequate reading the beginning of Zephaniah, I feel fearful and afraid of the might of God. How we all can only tremble at the vast greatness of our God. “ Therefore wait for me” declares the Lord, ‘for the day when I rise up to seize the prey. For my decision is to gather nations, to assemble kingdoms, to pour out upon them my indignation, all my burning anger; for in the fire of my jealousy all the earth shall be consumed.” But as the book continues, at the very end you see the conversion of the nation. At this time the Lord says to his people: “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save, He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you by his love; He will exult over you with loud singing.” How complete is His redemption??! It’s incredible! The Lord loves us with such an amazing intensity. O let my Lord sing over me.

On a more informative note, all the students in the bilingual program are headed to Uruguay this week for a little R&R, I am so excited for a chance to rest our minds and bodies for a little while. I think we all need it. Just to get off campus away from the textbooks and familiarity: and see a little. Please pray that we may be a light even on vacation, also that the Lord would provide us with many opportunities to share with others these coming weeks, and for the rest and rejuvenation of us all.

¿Qué más esta pasando en America de Sur?

Camp has been crazy and interesting. I feel sad as it comes to a close, because there are so many cool things that I have been learning. I think the saddest part is going to be saying goodbye to some really awesome friends, and being left without very many people who speak Spanish on campus this march. There have been some interesting stories, that at times I think get lost in my day-to-day schedule. So I thought I’d share.

For insistence: last week I woke up to my friends laughing in the bathroom, they told me they had found blood all over the floor in their room. Everyone kept complaining about the smell, and trying to figure out which girl was gross enough to bleed all over the floor and not clean it up. But as it turns out during the night a bat had flown into the fan and then died in one of their suitcases. I laughed so hard! It’s just one of those stories that would probably only happen in South America.

There have also been funny conversations, like trying to explain rocketry in charades when we didn’t know the word in Spanish. I believe what we said it is “an it’s an airplane that flies into the Universe,” I’m sure I’ve said weirder things, not that I would know lol. These sorts of things I think are the joys of being a foreigner.

On a sweeter note last night they came and got my friends and I and told us we were going to go share the gospel. I was scared out of my shorts though, because heaven only knows that I am the worst person they could ask: my Spanish is still so inadequate. I kept trying to translate the gospel in my head, as a prayed over a bunch of campers we were sharing with. I didn’t end up having to speak, but it was cool because one of the kids my friend witnessed to ended up coming to know the Lord.

I’ve seen a lot of kids getting saved and desiring to serve the Lord, which is really exciting; and makes being behind the scenes sweeter, knowing that even if we are doing battle with a mop and textbook, God’s name is being magnified.

I feel that I have so much more to learn, both spiritually and as far as language goes. Honestly though, I think I will be saying that till the day I go home to be with the Lord. Lately I’ve been reading Isaiah and studying a book by C.J Mahaney called: “A cross-centered life.” It’s been such a beautiful thing the way they go hand in hand with what I have been learning spiritually all through camp. I’m learning how avidly passionate Jesus is for people; I knew this, but it’s beautiful to see examples of his love every day. I think on how often the Lord is not at the center of my heart and my life- and it’s a shame, because He is so beautifully worth being at the very center of everything; and He will be. My prayer is that, we, as a church and heirs- will rise up and glorify his name in all the earth.

I’ve learned so much about missions, perhaps from just sitting back and contemplating it while I mop floors and study verb conjugations. God has us all to share His message and to serve people, missions is certainly not a place, and it is not a people group- though God does place specific ones on our hearts at times. Our mission: is to proclaim his gospel with our words, with our actions, and our lives no matter where we are or whom we encounter along the way. Anyway this is what God is teaching me, apologies for the sermonette. Please as you pray for me, pray that I would have a passion for Jesus beyond all things, and that I would keep Him and his death for me at the very center of all that I do. Pray for genuine understanding of the gospel this last week of camp. Pray God gives me the strength to press on, and learn how to learn another language; in order that I may have another tool to do what God has commanded us in sharing his gospel-that one day I would fluidly be able to put into words how the cross of christ has changed my life so entirely. Pray that I would not be selfishly inwardly focused, and forget that nothing is truly about me, but it’s about my Father- and O’ that He would be glorified!!

I end with this quote: “The cross is the blazing fire at which the flame of love is kindled, but we have to get near enough for its sparks to fall on us.” ~John Stott